Another Crazy Adventure

Normally, we meet every month for "homeschoolers" up on the nearby Zomba plateau. Our friends and us normally goof off, play soccer, explore a nearby forest and stream, and eat whatever desserts the little kids haven't devoured before we get to the table.

This week, however, was different. Our "Uncle" Johann van der Ham, the father of our friends Limbi and Amy, decided to take the teens to a different part of the plateau, home to "Chingwe's Hole." A large sinkhole about ten meters across and fifteen meters deep, Chingwe's Hole is said to have once been a grave for lepers rejected by their tribe. From above, the bottom of the sinkhole cannot easily be seen, and the legends of spirits and death give it an eerie feel.

The day starts when Uncle Johann picks us up at Colin's house, barreling down the road in his legendary Land Rover. We pile in, and chat for the next half hour over the roar of the engine and the wind whistling through the windows as the Landy chugs up the mountain. Soon we hit a dirt road, and Uncle Johann informs us that we could ride up on the roof if we want, but "I'm not going to stop the car."

We joke about this, with Colin and Johnny urging me to be brave and climb out onto the roof. This joke evaporates when Amy sighs and climbs out the window, grabbing the bars on top of the roof and pulling herself up while the Landy rattles down the road. After an awkward silence the guys follow, not to be outdone. For the next half hour we enjoy the scenery and chat while Limbi's For King and Country music drifts out of her portable speaker.

When we reach Chingwe's Hole, Uncle Johann begins securing the ropes to the gnarled trees that grow out of the sinkhole. He then shows us how to use the harness, before disappearing into the hole. A few moments later, I followed after him. The green walls of Chingwe's Hole rise above me as I rappel down, the smell of fresh mountain air replaced with the damper scents of moss and moist leaves.

My feet hit the thick, leafy carpet of the bottom of the whole, and I step out of the harness and go exploring while Uncle Johann belays the others down. Behind me, I hear Colin begin coming down the rope. He's nervous around heights, and as Uncle Johann lets him drop about five feet he shouts "I'm not a fan of that joke!" Uncle Johann chuckles, apologizes, and explains that this is the way we have to get lowered down into the hole.

Chingwe's Hole, on closer inspection, is about 15 meters long, and narrow enough in most places for me to almost touch both sides. At the opposite end I discover a cave that is about eight meters deep, with small crevices reaching further back into the rock. As the others trickle in we explore with headlamps and flashlights. I crawl down into one of the crevices, and my friend Sam follows after me. At the bottom we discover bones beneath our feet, but it's just a baboon skeleton.

Crawling back out, we goof around - as usual. Sam throws a stone at a bat and it streaks toward his head, causing him to jump back with a shriek. "Instant karma!" He proclaims a moment later, as the rest of us roar with laughter.

Soon we've explored everything there is to see - no leper bones, apparently - and it's time to climb back out. We all look to Uncle Johann, who proclaims, to our shock, that one of us will have to climb out without the help of a harness.

In the middle of the sinkhole is a bridge of stone and soil that links the two sides, giving just enough room to walk underneath it. I clamber onto this bridge, and the others follow. Knowing that the others probably aren't going to be comfortable climbing without a harness, I start climbing, searching for handholds on the mossy walls and testing each root and  knob before I put my weight on it. About halfway up the handholds peter out, and I have to rely largely on resting my weight on the indentations on the soil. At this point Uncle Johann tells me that we don't actually have to climb without the harness, technically - but going back down looks harder than going up.

At this point Colin calls up to me: "Chris, don't do this just to impress the girls! I actually don't want you to die, bro!"

"Thanks!" I shout back. "Can't believe you actually admitted that."

Snickers drift back up to me as I try to figure out what to do next. Taking a moment to survey the handholds, I build up my courage and then continue. About twenty seconds later I grip the trunk of one of the trees that grows out of Chingwe's Hole, and pull myself out. My hands are shaking, but I'm pretty pumped on adrenaline.

We head back to the starting point of the climb, and Uncle Johann tells me that in order to get Amy up, we are going to put me back in a harness and use my weight to pull her up. So once again I step onto the broad trunk of one of the trees that leans over the chasm. Letting go of the wood fully takes some self control, even though I've never been too nervous around heights.

Five minutes later I'm back at the bottom, and I climb out once again - of course I don't mind, since this experience is something that I've only dreamed of doing before now. But I am in the harness this time, and have to follow a different, more exhausting climb route. By the time I pull myself out and step out of the harness, I'm exhausted, and I joke with Limbi and Amy about how crazy awesome all of this is.

Realizing that I probably won't be able to climb out three more times (for Johnny, Sam, and Colin), he has each of them climb out on their own. While they climb I stand on one of the trees, spotting for good handholds and coaching them through the climb. Johnny and Sam are a bit nervous, like I was, but they make it and do a great job. Colin is the most freaked out, but he handles it like a pro, joking all the while about how frightened he is. When he gets to the top and steps out of the harness he runs away from Chingwe's Hole, doing a weird caper to celebrate the fact that he didn't die.

Now that everyone is out of the hole, we have lunch. Sam makes us chuckle when he pulls out not one, not two, not three, but a full six packs of cookies. He explains that his mom wants us to eat all of them, and we groan.

After lunch, things get even crazier. Uncle Johann secures his ropes to a nearby cliff, and has me go bush-whacking to the other side of the rift, so that I can spot if the rope has made it all the way to the bottom (if there is a bottom). The rope is about sixty meters long, but its end still dangles about three meters above the bottom of the gorge. I shout this information to Uncle Johann, but he shouts back that it will be fine, since the rope stretches. Sure enough, when he and Amy climb, the rope lengthens by about ten meters. Meanwhile, I video them from my position on a rock under the trees, while chatting with a friendly Malawian who helped me bush-whack to this point.

Soon Uncle Johann doesn't need me on this side of the gorge, so I head back to the rest of the teens, who are hanging out near the Land Rover. Sam entertains us with his nonsense stories, and produces a coin that he found in Chingwe's Hole. Johnny washes it off, revealing the date - 1957, Rhodesia, a country that doesn't even exist anymore. This leads to much light-hearted speculation about the possibility of hidden treasure within Chingwe's Hole.

We pack up and pile onto the Landy, choosing once more to ride on the roof. The way back seems to be much more painful on our rear ends, and Colin, Sam and to a lesser extent myself groan with every bump. Johnny suffers in silence, since he can hear Amy and Limbi snickering at us. Meanwhile, a small cut I got while climbing proves to be deeper than I suspected, and I feel very guilty as I bleed all over the white roof of the Land Rover.

The van der Hams drop us off at our houses, and we thank them for showing us such an awesome time. I hobble back into the house and get my cut cleaned up, while me and Johnny relate our adventure and discuss who should blog about it!

Only in Africa.

A Three Day Hike - Written by Johnny

Two weeks ago we had a rare opportunity to climb Malawi's tallest mountain: Mulanje. For Chris and I it was our third time, but the first Mulanje hike with the entire family. We had wanted to climb it with our family for some time, but had never had the opportunity. So when friends of ours invited us all to hike it with them and two other families, it seemed like the perfect chance. We would hike up the mountain on Friday, spend a day on the top, and then hike down on Sunday.
Hiking it on a Friday meant Chris and I would have to cram with our school, but thankfully it was still the first week of school and our workloads weren't as huge as they might otherwise have been. We thankfully got it all done, and were ready to go by Thursday evening.
At around 11:30 the next morning we started the climb. It was a bit of a late start (the two previous times we had done it we started at 8) but with 4 families to coordinate it made sense to start a bit later. The hike started with a longish walk through some tea fields before the actual ascent began. The view was nice, but there wasn't a whole lot of shade, so we were all eager to reach the lower slopes of the mountain where there would be a few trees.
Our friend Brody was with us, so me and Chris chatted with him while we hiked. It was nice walking along and talking, but also pretty hot, so we were drinking a lot. One of the neat things about Mulanje is that since all of the water is fast flowing and spring fed you can drink from almost any of the streams along the trail. In our past experience hiking Mulanje there had always been plenty of streams, so me and Chris had advised the family to only carry one water bottle each. It was a bad idea. We were hiking a different trail this time, and it turned out there wouldn't be any water until we reached the top.
After two kilometers or so we stopped for lunch. After grabbing a few bites to eat we set off again, and thankfully some scattered trees now lent their shade across our path. All across the path were huge boulders, and our path wound between them.
As we gained altitude the climb got steeper, but it also increased in beauty. Now majestic views opened up from the edges of cliffs. Some of the places were actually so steep that it required a ladder to get up though! Nearing the top we entered what would best be described as rain forest. Lush vegetation surrounded us, and it was really beautiful.
By this time our thirst was getting pretty bad, since our water bottles had run out several hours ago. Thankfully we found a small trickle of a stream to drink from, and were able to slake our thirst for a while. The hike continued through the rain forest, only opening up shortly before we arrived at the cabin.
Of the three cabins I've been to on Mulanje, this was definitely the best. Although the cabin itself was pretty small, it had a huge wrap-around khonde (a local term for porch), it was nestled between several large hills, and a stream flowed past just meters from us. It was a picturesque location.
After arriving we still had a little over an hour before dark, so we went exploring downstream with Brody. The stream consisted mostly of a series of small waterfalls, so we did a lot of rock climbing. After a while we realized that we hadn't remembered to tell anyone where we were going, so we went back, and then started exploring upstream. After going a short distance that way we discovered that the stream was much less interesting, so we just sat down on some rocks and chatted for a while. I forget the full range of our topics, but it included hiking, theology - you know, the usual for teenage boys. As dark set in we headed back the the cabin.
After a delicious supper of burritos we headed to bed around 8, since we would be getting up fairly early the next morning, and there aren't any lights in the cabin, so there wasn't much to do. Most of the people decided to sleep outside, since the cabin was small. The night proved extremely cold, and I was thankful I had gone to bed wearing long pants and a hoodie, rather than changing into pajamas. Still, I certainly did my fare share of shivering during the night.
We woke up around 6, most of us going to the stream to hang out before breakfast. After breakfast we had a short devotional (those friends are all Seventh Day Adventists, so they worship on Saturday), and then discussed plans for the day. The decision was to split into two groups; one group would go to some good swimming holes, and the other group would climb one of Mulanje's 58 peaks.
The group climbing the peak was much smaller, consisting of me and Chris, Dad, Brody and his father Jason, two other Americans, and our guide. We left at the same time as the group heading to the pools, and for a while our paths went together. Our guide told us that the hike up the peak would take 2 and a half hours from the cabin, and then about 2 hours back. We could also climb the peak, take about 40 minutes going to the pools, and then hike back with the other group. It sounded doable, so we decided to go with that plan.
But plans never go the way you expect them to. It took us almost 2 hours just to reach the base of the peak! The climb was exciting though - we enjoyed climbing Chinzama peak. In a few places it was regular rock climbing, although the slope wasn't too bad. It was a far cry different from the last peak I had climbed - Chambe - the second hardest on Mulanje (the hardest isn't even climbable from on the plateau).
At about 2 we reached the top, and spent about 40 minutes enjoying the view. Then it was time to hike down - which took us a while, as we often had to shimmy down on all fours, with our back to the mountain. Slightly past 4 we had reached the bottom, and the guide confirmed that we wouldn't really have time to reach the pools, so it was best to just head back to the cabin. Granted, we hadn't been going very fast, but it seemed that our guide's estimate of 4 and a half hours round trip had been slightly hopeful!
We arrived back at the cabin just before dark, and although we were all pretty cooled off by now, Chris, Brody and I decided not to chicken out on our earlier decision to take a dip in the stream. After recounting our adventures to the others, we headed out for our "bath." There was a deep spot we had noticed the day before so we headed there. With a lot of joking and daring we jumped in one by one, emerging moments with shouts and whoops. It was fun, but man was it cold! We ran back to the cabin to warm up by the fire.
That night we headed to bed around the same time, and this time I wisely decided to sleep inside. The morning dawned bright and clear, and after breakfast we all packed. One of the neat things about hiking this particular trail was that it was less known, and so besides our group we never saw any other hikers (although there were plenty of Malawian wood "poachers").
The climb down began at about 10, and by 3 we reached the bottom. There was a river just slightly before we reached the cars, and so most of us decided to go for a much needed swim. It was very refreshing, and once again we had fun exploring the river with Brody.
Climbing Mulanje is always an amazing experience, and this time was no different. No two times are the same, and it's something you will never forget!

Our cabin

The group we hiked with

The stream just outside the cabin

A view of the plateau

One of the ladders on the way

Mulanje as viewed from the bottom

Concerning Broccoli, Snakes, and Tear Gas - Written by Chris

Johnny and I love to keep fit as much as we can with our busy school schedules, and this is always an adventure in Africa.

A nearby private school has a 23 meter athletic pool, so we swim there whenever we get the chance. Its length makes it a rare commodity by Malawian standards, although its depth (about a meter or a yard) prevents diving. It is also apparently difficult for management to get pool chemicals, because several times the shallow water has been so murky we could barely see the bottom. As my Dutch friend Rien once said after jumping in, “this water tastes like broccoli!” But hey, a pool is a pool, so we live with it.

Just to add a little bit more of a challenge, we sometimes bike to the pool (which we guesstimate is about 7 kilometers from our house, there and back). The fun part of this is that the landscape is hilly almost all the way, so you are either puffing up a hill or cruising down it and feeling like you own the world.


Running, however, is by far how we get most of our exercise these days. Over the course of three years I’ve gone from being unfit and hardly able to run five kilometers, to having now run two  official half marathons (a distance of 21 kilometers) and several more during training.

Our first half marathon was in May, and it took place near where my friend Brody lives, in Thyolo (pronounced Chyoh-lo). Thyolo is famous for its large tea estates, which clothe the rolling hills in beautiful green blankets. Purple jacaranda trees dot the landscape, and magnificent hills and mountains - including the majestic Mulanje Massif - form a backdrop. The Thyolo run, which Brody also ran in, was beautiful but grueling. The last five kilometers were the worst, a very hot uphill stretch with no water stations. Our time in Thyolo was a modest 2:29:25, but we were happy just to finish. Two weeks ago we ran our second half marathon up on the equally beautiful Zomba plateau, clocking a time that was about 2 minutes faster. This felt good, considering that everyone said the Zomba race was significantly harder. To us it felt easier, but I am crediting that to better training and a home advantage.

Our worst run was a few years ago, when Johnny and I jogged through a valley and inexplicably started choking and crying. An elderly Malawian man passed us, and seemed very concerned for our well-being. He kept saying “oh, sorry, sorry.” At first I attributed our symptoms to the smoke coming from a nearby pile of burning plastic garbage, but no smoke had ever or has ever since had that effect on me. Later we put the pieces together, and decided that the Malawian man had probably figured out the culprit much faster than us: tear gas! There had been some demonstrations lower down in the town that the police dispersed with tear gas, and we are guessing that it drifted up through the valley and into our unwitting lungs and eyes. Thankfully it had lost most of its potency at that point, so the effects of the tear gas didn’t last more than a minute or two. Still, it was enough to make me very thankful I didn’t get the real thing.

Most of our runs, however, are much more peaceful than that. Neither of us are morning people, and so unless we are going for a very long run we normally start around 4PM (remember, we live close to the equator so sundown is always between 5:30 and 6). This allows us to enjoy the coolest part of the day, and sometimes even witness an amazing sunset as we return home. Of course, there are still many runs with an unusual twist thrown in - sometimes we have to jump over a snake in the road (either dead or alive), sometimes we jog through a pack of bored looking baboons, and very often a random group of Malawians will decide to get in on the fun and jog with us for a bit. Malawians are great that way - they really know how to enjoy themselves and be friendly.

Out with the Routine - Written by Johhny

Most Saturday's in Malawi follow a fairly regular schedule for me. I wake up around nine, make pancakes or crepes for lunch, read and surf the web during the afternoon, and then watch a movie in the evening. This Saturday followed a different, but not unenjoyable pattern. Because I didn't do any of those things.

When I got out of bed at 8:30 I almost immediately went to work on a pile of dishes. We were going to have guests over for dinner that evening, so it was best to have the kitchen cleaned before then. Me and Chris were going to be busy most of the day as well, as we'd been invited to a birthday party. But if you were expecting a teens birthday party with paintball and video games you couldn't really be more off the mark. The birthday party was for our friend's little sisters. We were only there to help out with some of the activities that were planned. Two of our friends would also be there, so we didn't mind going. We had a few laughs about being invited to a girl's birthday party though.

At 10:20 we arrived at the party. We were a full 20 minutes late, but still only the second people to arrive. We're on African time here, so no one was really bothered by it. The theme of the party was wild animals, so as helpers me and Chris both had stations where we gave kids animal themed tasks to do. Everyone else came dressed up as an animal, but Chris didn't need a costume besides his normal look.

My station was the rhino, and so the kids had to put a birthday hat on their nose and knock balls off of a table and into a little basket. It was funny watching some of the littler kids doing it, as the birthday hat completely covered their nose and eyes, which meant they had to do the challenge blind! Chris' station was the monkey, so he got to make kids peel a banana with their toes. Thankfully for them he backed down on the threat of making them eat it afterwards.

After the children had done all of the stations our friends and us proceeded to play football (or soccer). Scoring the first goal of the day felt pretty sweet, but unfortunately my luck didn't last that long. I did get a few more good shots in though. We were called up once for cake, but otherwise we played football all the way until 3, when we left.

It had been arranged beforehand that our two friends would come back from the party with us for a sleepover, and one of Sarah's friends too. We all piled into our Toyota Prado, and headed home - all of us feeling sore to some degree after several hours of football. I'm pretty sure Chris had it the worst though, as he had taken a hard fall while playing. For his sake, I won't go into the exact details under which his demise came about, so I'll just say it had something to do with stepping on the ball. After that came a banana-style split, which was fitting after his role as the monkey earlier in the day.

After we got home we chatted for a while and then I went to go take care of our animals. We have a mini farm with 28 chickens, 8 rabbits, 3 guinea fowl, 2 pigs, and 1 duck. We used to have more ducks, but unfortunately our African Bees decided to declare war on them... Taking care of all of them usually takes me around 50 minutes, but I hurried, and with a bit of help from Chris I managed to get it all done in 20. After I finished I had 2 short wrestling matches with a friend, and got absolutely slaughtered in both. I should probably work on my wrestling skills before I challenge him again!

After that we played a card game and then went to supper. When we had finished eating we spent a quite a while playing Mario Kart on our Wii (yes, ten years after Mario Kart was released we still play it), and from there watched a movie. After the movie it was back to Mario Kart, and our living room became a cacophony of laughing, cheering, moaning, booing, and good-natured insults, as we battled each other in the Mario Kart universe. Around 1AM we went to bed, and after an hour of talking eventually all drifted off to sleep. It was a long, but very fun day. Glad I didn't stay with the routine!

A Very African Summer Trip - Written by Chris

The latest adventure for Johnny and I (besides a 15k run today which involved a beautiful sunset, a meter-long dead snake, and coaxing my friend’s dogs back to their house after one of their escapades on the road), was a trip up to the northern city of Mzuzu to visit our friend John Mark. We’ve been meaning to do this for a long time, but finally got around to it this summer break. It was well worth it.

We’ve known John Mark, hereafter referred to as JM because he hates being called Jim or Jimbo, for almost four years. We first got to know him well at a conference/team gathering in Zimbabwe, during which we had a week of mostly free time. We spent it goofing off, playing some soccer and card games, and listening to the same TobyMac album on repeat. The last item on that list was probably a mistake.

Since then we have visited him in the North 3 times (including our most recent trip), and he has also come down here a handful of times. JM and his family are Afrikaaners, meaning that they are Afrikaans speaking South Africans. JM is fiercely patriotic and also a fellow history buff, so whenever we see him he fills in the gaps in my knowledge of South Africa (surely one of the world’s most fascinating countries).

Our trip to Mzuzu started with the alarm clock going off at 5 AM. Rolling out of bed, we made the 1 hour trip to Blantyre as the sun kissed the beige horizon. Arriving at the Sososo bus station (seriously, I have no idea why they named their bus line that), we discovered that apparently you have to book tickets in advance. Thankfully we found a different bus service, and by 7:30 we were on our way. After that time warped. The next 12 hours seemed like an endless loop of eating PBJ sandwiches, reading Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, and trying not to be annoyed by the constant boppy African music tumbling out of the bus speakers. Two hours after dark we made it to Mzuzu, where John Mark’s dad (“Uncle” Mark) picked us up. One of the Malawian guys told us “your dad is here to pick you up,” pointing at Uncle Mark. I think us white guys all look the same to Malawians.

Our time with John Mark was amazing. Although his mom had said that he would have to do some home school while we were there, he ended up having a pretty loose schedule. We spent our chill time playing multiple games of Risk, going on hill runs, playing multiplayer Civilization IV, and throwing sticks for JM’s tireless dog. Midway through our visit, Uncle Mark took us on a two-day trip. The first night we visited Kusintha Farm, an off-the grid eco-farm that the Beckett’s and their colleagues are creating to demonstrate sustainable farming practices. It was cool touring the property and fantasizing about playing airsoft on its wide expanses of indigenous forest. That evening we ate a simple but delicious meal of sausage and mashed potatoes in front of a fire, before turning in to our sleeping bags.

Next morning, we piled into Uncle Mark’s pickup truck (or “bakkie” as South Africans call it), and headed for “Elephant Rock”. We had an hour’s long drive before we got there, through the scenic highlands of northern Malawi. When Elephant Rock came into view, the idea of climbing/hiking it without equipment seemed a bit ominous. It is one of the unique African monadnocks of solid rock that never cease to amaze me.

Above: Elephant Rock. We climbed up the "head".
This is an example of a monadnock, a large igneous (often granite) mountain that sticks up out of the landscape and isn't part of a larger mountain chain. Malawi has hundreds, if not thousands, of these.

The ascent took about an hour, which involved a lot of climbing and scrambling on all fours - especially once we reached the "head" of the Elephant and things got steeper. At the top, we enjoyed a view of a large portion of the Northern Region, meanwhile snacking on dried fruit and apples.

The next day, our final one in Mzuzu, we went to basketball practice with JM (who is over six feet tall and perfectly suited to the sport). It was just the three of us and JM’s coach, and Coach focused mostly on beating me and Johnny into shape. Given that I can’t shoot a hoop for the life of me, this was rather intimidating. For the next two hours Coach alternately berated and coaxed us into performing better, until I could finally get a sloppy 3 lay-ups in a row. It was exhausting and challenging, but that’s a good thing. I like to push myself. While trying not to die of frustration at my basketball skills, I also had to attempt not to stare at a nearby group of druggies smoking pot, or at the deep scars on Coach’s arm. I later learned he got those scars during a crocodile attack.

That evening we said goodbye to JM as we piled onto a night bus. It was bittersweet, since we have no idea how many times we might see each other again before I head off to university. The next morning my parents picked up two very tired boys from Blantyre, and we told them all about our crazy trip on the ride back to Zomba.

Africa Q&A - Written by Jonathan

Living abroad can sometimes be pretty confusing. Eventually you start figuring out how to get settled in properly though, and then life starts following a regular pattern.

Haha, nice joke, right? Life here never follows a regular pattern, and that's mostly why it's so confusing. Because things can be so confusing, I thought it might be good to answer a few questions a lot of people have. Every time we visit North America people have a lot of different questions and confusions about what life is like here. I've collected some of the most common, and I'll do my best to answer them.

Q: How do you do school there?

Our primary method is homeschooling. Most of our main subjects are taught with homeschooling, and they include History, Math, English, Science, and some smaller subjects like Guitar, German, and French. A lot of people wonder if we homeschool because of living in Africa, but that's not really the case, as we homeschooled even when we lived in Canada. Besides what we do with our homeschooling programs, we also take one or two online courses each semester. Our online school is a great resource provided by the Canadian government, and we're very thankful we have it.

Q: Do you like living in Africa?

Yes! It's not an ordinary life, but I wouldn't trade it for a "normal" life in Canada. Malawi is a beautiful country, and if you're up to it, a place full of adventure! The people here are very nice, and I have great friends as well.

Q: Do you ever see lions and tigers?

Unfortunately not. Lions have been hunted to extinction here like most of the wildlife. I believe there is a nature reserve that is introducing them, but they no longer exist at all in the wild. It's sad, but there isn't much that can be done about it. And as to seeing tigers... well I just try not to laugh when I get asked that. You've got the wrong continent, people! We get used to strange questions after a while though. One time Chris had to explain to an elderly lady that Africa is a continent and not a country. I have a friend who was once asked if he often sees kangaroos in Malawi. Well, like I said, you get used to it!

Q: Do you live in a safe country?

This is a question that is very important to many people, and it is certainly a legitimate one, considering the violence that occurs in some African nations. Thankfully Malawi is a very safe country, however. We are blessed to not have to worry about our safety while living here.

Q: Where do live?

Despite my saying that I live in Malawi, people are still often confused about where I live. I've had more than one conversation that ran similar to this:

Person: "So where do live again?"

Me: "I live in Malawi, Africa."

Person: "Oh right, I forgot. I've heard of Mali before."

Me: "No, no. I don't live in Mali, that's in Saharan Africa. I live in Malawi, which is a small country in Sub-Saharan Africa. They're very different countries."

Person: "Got it. Not Mali, but Maui." Then they repeat the word Maui to themselves a couple of times to make sure they remember it.

Me: "Well it's actually not Maui either. Maui is one of the Hawaiian islands, so it's very different from Africa!"

Person: "Ok, so it is Mali then?"

Me (in a pained voice): "Yeah... Something like that."

Q: What do you miss most about North America?

Oh, boy. I've been asked that so many times, and yet I still don't have one good answer to give people. Obviously I miss having family nearby, but there are some smaller things I miss as well. Things like being able to go to the Dollar Store or Walmart, and really little things like not being able to regularly find items like taco shells. Since there is no Taco Bell here, if you want tacos you have to make your own, including the taco shells. In the end though it always works out, as God has an amazing way of providing for us. Sure, we can't get taco shells, but instead we have access to tree ripened bananas, papayas, and mangoes!

Q: Is it hot in Africa?

I've completely lost track of the number of times people have asked me that. And yet it's still a question that makes me chuckle. Is it hot in Africa? Why not just ask if it is cold on the North Pole? "Yep, it's hot" is what I usually reply. On the flip side though, we do have a "cold" season that lasts about two months. This cold season comes around at basically the same time as when North America has its summer. The seasons are exactly opposite since we are in the Southern Hemisphere instead of the Northern Hemisphere. You're probably wondering how cold it really gets here by now. The answer to that is that it doesn't get very cold by North American standards. The thing is though, indoor heating and housing insulation are basically unheard of here, so 10 C degrees (50 Fahrenheit) outside means 10 C degrees inside!

Q: Do you speak African?

Nope. Do you speak North American?

That's all for now, but I hope you've enjoyed reading this, and I would be happy to answer any additional questions in the comments!

Malawi 101 - Written by Chris

Hey there!

Because I am an avid writer of fiction, I am part of an online community of young writers. We trade critiques for each others' work, brainstorm ideas, and also just generally have fun and goof around. Recently someone asked for a prayer request because they have an upcoming missions trip to several African countries, including Malawi. Someone told her that I live here, and so a conversation started about Malawian culture and what she should expect. After writing out a long reply, I realized that it would make an excellent blog post. Here are some interesting facts about Malawi:


First thing to know about this part of Africa - everyone is super friendly (especially in Malawi). You should definitely try to be culturally correct, but don't be petrified of making mistakes because the peeps here are super gracious and forgiving. Also, hospitality is a huge thing here - people will literally vacate their houses for foreigners to sleep in them. A few things to keep in mind:

- When you shake hands, touch your right elbow with your left hand. This is a sign of respect, so definitely do it for adults - maybe not so necessary for kids. (If you forget to do this, it's not the end of the world. I sometimes forget, sadly, just because it's still not what I"m used to.)

- Eat only with your right hand (if you are right handed unlike me, this shouldn't be a big deal). The left hand is used in the bathroom, and so is naturally considered unclean. If you eat with fork and knife this doesn't apply - only if you eat in a village with your hands.

- Bring warm clothing. I know you probably think Africa is super hot, but this time of year it can get chilly at night sometimes. Also, bring sun protection, because the sun is still a factor.

- Try to avoid fresh vegetables, as they might give you diarrhea. Cooked vegetables and fruit should be fine.

- If people in Malawi shout "give me my money" they are really saying "give me mamoney" (ma being the local equivalent of the word "the"). This is just a catch-phrase they have learned to say to foreigners, and you are by no means obligated to give them money (I would suggest not giving money to people you don't know, and not without the knowledge of your leaders). You might also hear people shout "azungu" as you go past, which means "white person". It's not an insult or anything - they just like announcing things to the world : D

- Dress code. Try to bring long, ankle length dresses, because this is what is considered modest here. Not sure what your wardrobe is like, but the longer and looser the better (so no short skirts or pants, unless you are in a big city perhaps). Hopefully your mission trip leaders will talk about this, though.

- Electronics. Despite the friendliness thing, guard your valuables because otherwise they might be stolen (to put things in perspective, stealing a phone might provide several months wages for someone here). Try to keep your smartphone close at all times, and watch your baggage/luggage. Also, some areas of Malawi/Mozambique have internet and electricity problems, so be prepared to be offline for a few days.



Other than that... I guess there a few cultural things I could talk about. African culture is collectivist, meaning that people are focused more on the good of the community than on individual gain (sometimes for good, sometimes for ill). Practically, what that means is that people share everything, are very friendly and outgoing, and don't understand the need for personal space. I'm not sure if you have long hair, but if you do people will probably marvel at it and want to touch it. Another thing to note is that African culture in general is very superstitious - if you see kids wearing necklaces made from natural materials, it is probably a charm. Maybe don't wear necklaces or jewelry made from natural material, because people might think you wear charms and that probably isn't something you want to have them thinking. Consider just avoiding jewelry all together since you don't want it to be stolen or lost. Also - if you have braces people will ask you if it is for decoration XD Ask me how I know.


Some of the above information may not apply if you are in the city or on a missions compound - I'm just trying to prepare you for the worst. A few things more to expect: gorgeous sunsets, bugs, lots of (non-dangerous) bush fires that look impressive but don't burn for long, bumpy roads, adventure, bicycles loaded with all kinds of crazy things, mosquitoes, chickens in church, etc.



Again though, you really don't have anything to be afraid of. Everyone is welcoming and accommodating, and as long as you keep an open mind and are ready for some adventure I'm sure you will have a blast! Also, the terrorist attacks [in Mozambique] have died down from what I've heard - and to put things in perspective, you are much more likely to die in a car crash in the States than you are to die from a terrorist attack here.


Please tell me where in Malawi you are going when you find out what your schedule is gonna be like - it would be cool to meet you here if it works out! Hope you have a great time here and in Mozambique!


Oh, and a few greetings/phrases you should know for your time in Malawi:

Zikomo (zee-ko-mo) = thank you!

Zikomo kwambiri (zee-ko-mo kwam-bee-ree) = thank you very much!

Tionana (tee-yo-na-na) = see you later

Bwanji bwanji (bwan-jee bwan-jee) = How much [does this cost]?


This is how to greet someone:

Greeting: Muli bwanji (moo-lee bwan-jee) = How are you?

Response: Ndili bwino, kaya inu? (dee-lee bwee-no, kah-yah ee-nu?) = I'm good, how are you?

Response to the above: Ndili bwino, zikomo = I'm also good, thanks





Note that in Malawi people don't really differentiate between the letters "L" and "R" which can lead to confusion if you aren't aware of that. If someone says "liver" they might mean "river" and if they say "river" they might mean "liver". I can't help you with greetings for Mozambique, since the trade language there is Portuguese (which I know nothing of).




Boom - just killed two birds with one stone! Answered someone's questions about Malawi and also made a blog post in the process.


Hope you enjoyed this post - if you have any questions concerning Malawian culture leave them in the comments! Zikomo!

It Was Worth It - Written by Johnny

One of the best parts of living in Africa for me is the interesting people you get to meet. Missionaries and aid workers from all over the world live in Malawi, and the blend of unique personalities and experiences is really amazing. I have spent many hours listening to crazy stories from some of these "expats" (expatriates), and the time is definitely well spent. But what I enjoy much more than that is hanging out with the children of these missionaries.

There is a great group of teens here who share a lot in common with us. Not only are they all sincere Christians, but they are also all homeschooled like us. Since so many expatriates homeschool here, this has led to a gathering that we simply call "Homeschooolers." We meet on the first Friday of every month for a meal, games, sports, fellowship, and just chatting. Contrary to what you would expect from the name, however, there is absolutely no school involved, and it is just a day of fun, with the occasional learning experience or field trip thrown in.

We always have a great time, and it's something we look forward to from month to month. For the past two months everyone had been busy though, so Homeschoolers had been canceled. This month it was decided we would do it again, however. Like always, it was a great experience, but as it turned out, it was one that would leave me and Chris limping for the next few days.

This Homeschoolers the plan was to meet at a picnic area on top of the nearby Zomba Plateau (aka Zomba Mountain). There is a road running up the side of the mountain, so that makes it easily accessible by car for most people. We had just one problem: our car wasn't working. As Chris mentioned in the last post, we were having mechanical trouble with it, and couldn't get it running. (It's up and working now, but it wasn't on Friday).

Ok, so it seemed we needed to have a Plan B. Friends offered to give us a lift, but me and Chris opted to bike up the mountain, and a friend of ours named Brody decided to join us. The bike ride up is pretty brutal (about 12 kilometers of constant uphill) but it was something we had done twice before, and we felt fairly confident we could do it again. Biking up Zomba Mountain provides 3 benefits: The first is having a cool and unforgettable experience. The second is the amazing views you get all along the way up, and that alone would be worth it. Last but not least is the bragging rights you get from saying you have done it. It's pretty funny seeing people faces when they hear you have biked (or run) all the up. Alright, I don't actually brag about that, but it's worth biking up all the same.

Friday morning came, and it immediately became apparent that Homeschoolers would not be on the Plateau. A heavy fog set in, and it was also drizzling. Thankfully our friends the Beatons (the same family who had been Chris' proctor) volunteered to have it hosted at their house, and we were thankful to them for having opened their house to everyone at the last minute. So much for biking up the mountain, though.

Brody had arrived here anyway, so we decided we would bike with him to the new Homeschoolers location. It had stopped drizzling, so we wouldn't have to bike in the rain. It's only between 4 and 5 kilometers to the Beaton's house, so compared to biking up a mountain it seemed pretty easy, right?

We wheeled our bikes out of the garage; Chris had a flat tire so he pumped that up really quickly and then we set off. About a kilometer from the house we realized Chris' tire had gone flat again. We hadn't brought the pump with us, so we just decided to take turns running with the bike until we got there. That worked. For a while anyhow. Then the rubber part of the tire started coming off of the rim. Not good. Carrying the bike was the next step, so we proceeded with that method. We weren't very far from our destination at that point though, so thankfully we didn't have to continue like that for long.

It took us about 35 minutes to travel 4 kilometers, a trip which included another flat tire and a lot of running uphill for whichever one of us was taking a turn pushing that bike. Despite that though, we were still the first people to arrive. Ah well, everyone here is on "African Time", after all. We were all very glad of one thing though: we didn't have to bike up an entire mountain!

After a few people had arrived we decided to play a game of football (soccer, for those in North America). Only four teens were able to make it to that Homeschoolers, so we enlisted as many younger kids as we could and then started playing. Football is one of our staple sports at Homeschoolers, and we have played countless hours of it.

Me and Chris were on different teams for the first match, and I think you probably all know what sibling rivalries can be like. At one point in the game the ball rolled to a place directly between us. We both went for it. Crash! I think we were both expecting the other person to stop at the last moment, but we didn't. It was certainly not our brightest moment, and it was a few minutes before either of us could stand up straight without wincing. Our legs got pretty banged up by that little crash.

A while later we were all called to lunch, and I have to say I was pretty glad to sit down after our "bike ride," almost 2 hours of football, and that crash. I hadn't scored a single goal during those two hours, which was a bit of a bummer. My joke was that I had about as many assists as we had scored goals. Just not my day I guess.

After lunch we played football for a while longer, and I finally managed to score a goal! I comforted myself that at least I had gotten one... When we got bored with football we switched to "British Bulldogs" or Sharks and Minnows as it is known in North America.

After close to an hour of that we changed games again to Man Hunt (it is also known as Wolf, and a few other names). It was another running game... We played that for a while, until we got bored. Around that time most of the families left, and since we couldn't bike home we would need to get a lift. The other teens still had time to spare however, so me and Chris decided to run back later.

We played some more football after that, then switched to handball. Finally I was in my element, and I managed to score several really good goals. It was a relief after my long streak of misses in football! I was quite glad I had gotten a chance to slightly redeem my honor. After about an hour of this me and Chris said our goodbyes and that we needed to run back home. Ok, so we might as well have said limping. We ran a few kilometers and then switched to a walk. There was literally no way we could have gotten anything more out of our legs.

When we finally collapsed onto the couch at home it was a huge relief. The next two days I was still hobbling around. Sure, it was brutal, but I had blast, and would do it again in a heartbeat! It was worth it!

Our group of friends at a gathering last year
(Chris is second from left at the top,
I'm second from left at the bottom)

A (Very) African Exam - Written by Chris

Note: In order to understand this blog post, you should know that a dongle is an external USB that you can plug into your PC to get internet on the go. They are very common in Africa, and not-so-common in the Western world.

How do we do school in Africa? That's a long story to tell, involving a lot of adventure, mishaps, and bemusing situations. Right now as I right this blog post offline I am sitting outside a bicycle repair shop on a broken lawn chair in the middle of the city. This may not be the way an average Canadian kid prepares for an exam, but this is how I am spending my day before a final exam which will take place tomorrow. Why? Because I need internet for the exam. You are probably completely confused now, so allow me to back up.
[Note: the rest of the blog post was written about a week after my exam.]

Me and Johnny have been homeschooled for as long as we can remember. Ditto for our younger sister Sarah, and (soon) our four year old sister Elianna. Our family homeschooled while we lived in Canada, and that didn't change when we moved here to Malawi - if anything, getting decent education at a “conventional” school would have been much more difficult (and expensive) here, since we would have had to go to boarding school to receive an education that would meet international standards. So we continued home schooling, even into high school. I am currently finishing grade 11, and Johnny is finishing grade 9. We generally take between 8 to 10 courses per year, some with text books and some through an online government school based out of Lindsay, Ontario (hence this blog post). Anyhow, fast forward to about a week ago, when I was preparing for an online exam for my course Environmental Science (hats off to my teacher, “Mystery”, for an awesome semester). These exams are worth 30% of your final mark, and you have to take them at someone else’s house so that the school knows you didn’t cheat. I asked my friend’s mom, “Aunty” Leslie to be my proctor, and she readily agreed - with one hesitation. Their internet was extremely slow, and she recommend that I bring my own internet source. “No problem, I can bring my external internet dongle,” I replied. I knew that the dongle was out of repair, but I figured it would be a simple matter to have it fixed at the local internet shop. How hard could it be, right? Well… wrong.

About a week before my exam our 1998 Colorado SUV broke down, and a gaggle of visiting mechanics failed to fix it (a week after the exam, it’s still broken). This pushed dad into a flurry of stressed activity as he tried to figure out how to get our new solar system home (thank you so much for donating it, Warkworth Free Methodist Church) from the trade capital (Blantyre), fix the car, and also not put our ministry here on the back burner. “If worst comes to worst I’ll get on my bike and head downtown to get the dongle fixed,” I told dad. The day before my exam, I decided that time was running out, and me and Johnny saddled up and took a scenic 3 or 4 kilometer bike ride into the town centre. We first headed to “Africycle”, an NGO that sells and repairs bikes, to get our back brakes fixed since neither of us had fully functioning back brakes (which, trust me, is not a good thing on our mountainous roads). While the bikes were repaired I walked a block to the internet kiosk, hoping to find a techy who could help me fix the dongle. In my pocket I had about 60,000 Malawian Kwacha (about a 80$ USD), partially to buy bananas (a staple in our family), pay for our bike repairs, and also to guarantee that we had a lot of extra money to buy a new dongle. And in my backpack I had the dongle along with a computer to test it on (since the “techy’s” don’t have their own laptops). Anyhow, I walked down the dusty, busy street - past an open-air welding shop and a mini-bus station - feeling like a very rich man. I got to the internet shop only to discover that they were closed. I’m not sure why since Eid al-Fitr had been the previous week and there was no national holiday, but closed they were and there was no arguing the fact. There were a few internet service guys outside the shop selling 4G SIM-cards to Malawians, and they directed me to a friend who was, apparently, a techy. This man explained to me that the SIM-card in my dongle had probably expired from lack of use (we normally use our router for internet), and directed me to the 4G stand so I could get a new SIM-card. He said that once I had bought the SIM-card I would have to go home and reinstall the driver software, and I complied, slipping the new card into my pocket as I headed back to see how the bike repairs where going. When I arrived I sat on a rickety plastic lawn chair waiting for the bikes to be repaired, chatting with the Malawian guys and writing the beginning part of this blog post on my computer (which, remember, I had in the backpack). In about twenty minutes our bikes were repaired and good-as-new thanks to the Africycle guys, so me and Johnny biked back home, choosing a scenic route from which we could watch the beginnings of a sunset creep over the beautiful Malawian countryside. On our way we passed dad, who was also on a bike and headed to the government buildings in the old quarter of the city so that he could pay the import taxes for our solar system. Needless to say, it was a very bike-filled day. Before arriving home we stopped to buy a hand of bananas at a local roadside stop. Me and Johnny had a chuckle when it took a full five minutes for the shop owner and a Malawian lady to finish their chat before we were serviced.

Back home I plugged the dongle into my computer’s USB port, swapped the SIM cards, and reinstalled the software. Surprise, surprise - it didn’t work. Fairly frustrated and starting to wonder if I would have internet for my exam, I waited for dad to return home and told him the whole saga. Dad shared my frustration, and promised that we would figure it out the next day - the day of my exam, which was going to take place at 3PM. Next morning dad biked up to our colleagues house to borrow their dongles and see if we could get them running. Meanwhile, I did some last minute studying, adding to an online study document that my online classmates back in Canada had created. Dad returned with the dongles from our colleagues, but they didn’t work either. By this time it was about 11AM, and I was starting to stress. We ate lunch and then dad biked into town with the SIM-cards, dongles, and a computer, hoping to get them repaired at the shop while running some other errands. I continued studying, on Johnny's computer since mine was having issues; all the while I was watching nervously as the clock ticked its way towards 3PM. Dad finally arrived at the gate around 2:30, panting hard after a long uphill bike ride (kudos to you, dad). I shoved the dongle and a computer in a backpack just as our colleague Marieke dropped by to pick me and Sarah up - Sarah on her way to horseback riding lessons at a local farm along with Marieke’s girls, and me on my way to the exam at “Aunty” Leslie’s house. I arrived at the proctor’s house around 2:50, with just barely enough time to set-up my computer and internet and log into the exam. I was just thankful that the whole ordeal would soon be over. 3 hours later after a fairly tough exam I was finished, and Leslie’s husband (“Uncle” Robby) drove me home, along with his son Colin who came over to our place for a sleepover. Me, Johnny, and Colin had fun re-watching the Fellowship of the Ring and playing some old Wii games, and the day ended on a happy note.

Thus ends the saga of my exam. The lesson I have learned, for the umpteenth time, is that nothing is easy in Africa. I’m so thankful for my family, as well as our friends/colleagues, all of whom are so gracious when I’m up to my eyeballs in school work and need a helping hand.

Fun note: the bike repairs for my bike cost 1,500 Malawian Kwacha, and for Johnny's 500 Malawian Kwacha. That's a grand total of 3 or 4 Canadian dollars. The SIM card cost 500 Kwacha, which is about 1 dollar. Some things in Malawi are very cheap! On the other hand, you could pay 20$ for a simple block of cheese.

Johnny's Introduction

Hello! Muli Bwanji! Ça va! ¡Hola! Guten Tag! Confused by all these greetings? From left to right the languages are English, Chichewa, French, Spanish, and German. What do all of those languages have in common? Every single one of them I use daily. My use of English should be pretty obvious, since that’s my native language. Chichewa is the language spoken here in Malawi, so knowing the basics is pretty important. French, Spanish, and German are all languages I’m learning, and they all have some importance to me. Sadly, I’m only completely fluent in English, but my hope is that in time my knowledge of the rest will come. To back up a little my name is Jonathan Babcock, I’m 15, and I live in Malawi, Africa. For the past 6 years our family has been here as missionaries to the locals. Its a life full of crazy adventures, and the purpose of this blog is to share those adventures with you! We have a family of six people. Besides my parents, I have two younger sisters and an older brother, Chris, who is co-author of this blog. I was born in a small town in Ontario, Canada and I lived there until we came here to Malawi. A lot of people ask me what conveniences I miss most about living in Canada and the answer to that would probably be access to easily cooked meals and fast food. It can make life a lot simpler, but the good news is that cooking is one of my hobbies, so when I have time I’m often in the kitchen. A few of my other hobbies are traveling, reading, running, music, and spending time in the great outdoors! Travelling is something that I’ve done a lot of, having been to 21 countries on 4 different continents! Its certainly a big relief that I enjoy it. As for reading, I’m a chronic book addict. My favorite genres are Fantasy, Dystopian, and historical fiction. I love running! Partially just because of how healthy it is, partially because I enjoy testing my limits. My running partner is almost always Chris, and together we’ve gone pretty far, even completing a half marathon recently. Music is something I really enjoy as well. Sure, I’m no musician, but I love listening to Christian Contemporary Music, and little by little I am improving my guitar skills. My final big hobby is being outdoors. That can mean anything from sitting by a gentle stream to climbing a mountain, but I’ll still enjoy it. I’m often asked what my plans for the future are, and I really don’t know. Beyond high school my plans are a bit dim, but I do know this: I’ll follow wherever God leads me! I’m currently planning to do a gap year after high school and then proceed to university. Where will I go to university? Well, first I’ll have to pick which continent I want to study on, and that in itself will be a challenge. I’m thinking I’ll likely try to find a university somewhere in Canada, but like I’ve said: I really don’t know what the future holds! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this post and we look forward to seeing you here again! Goodbye. Tionana. Au revoir. Adios. Auf Wiedersehen.

Johnny Contemplating Life in Dubai

Chris' Introduction

Have you ever been chased down a bumpy dirt road by an angry bull elephant? Well, I have. Nice to meet you, I’m Chris Babcock! While my life certainly isn’t all elephants and adventures, I’ve had my share of both during my 17 years on earth - hence this blog.

Although born deep in the Canadian Shield (that means the cold part, for you Americans), I’ve lived in southern Africa for six years of my life. Traveling - one of my more exhausting interests - has become a part of my life, and I’m grateful that I get to share this crazy life with my family of 6 (including myself and Johnny). When not traveling, I’m usually busy working on home school (sometimes playing catch up because I was traveling!). I really enjoy studying history, politics, geography, and literature, both through my home school courses and through part-time enrollment in the Virtual Learning Centre, an online high school based out of Ontario. If I’m not doing school “work” or traveling, you would probably find me reading, writing, doing something active outdoors (airsoft, anyone?), or hanging with friends. I generally read between 50 and 80 books a year, from modern young adult fiction like the Hunger Games to old classics like Crime and Punishment - all of which fuel my love of words and my inspiration to write. I’ve currently written about 150,000 words of fiction, and am hoping to finish the rough draft of my second novel, I Am Aynebidding, very soon.

Living in Africa can be rough sometimes, but at the end of the day I’d definitely do it all over again. Life is full of blessings, and Jesus is worthy! I honestly have no idea where I will end up in this world as an adult, but I’m sure it’ll be a roller coaster ride that will probably involve more than just a 9-5 work day and a life in suburbia. Currently my plans for the future are hazy, although I plan on attending university in Canada, Germany, or possibly some third country, and studying International Issues or Political Science. I am often driven by the big picture - I enjoy taking a step back and analyzing what the political trends are, how attitudes are shifting, and how God is moving in our world. I could see myself being a journalist, diplomat, or missionary - it all depends on what I am called to do. My hope is that I can use my skills and talents to make our world a better place, and enjoy the ride in the process surrounded by friends and family.

Thanks for reading - more blog posts are on their way! I’m looking forward to meeting you - please feel free to comment or email us :)

Chris in Dubai