Sunday 18 November 2018

Another Crazy Adventure

Normally, we meet every month for "homeschoolers" up on the nearby Zomba plateau. Our friends and us normally goof off, play soccer, explore a nearby forest and stream, and eat whatever desserts the little kids haven't devoured before we get to the table.

This week, however, was different. Our "Uncle" Johann van der Ham, the father of our friends Limbi and Amy, decided to take the teens to a different part of the plateau, home to "Chingwe's Hole." A large sinkhole about ten meters across and fifteen meters deep, Chingwe's Hole is said to have once been a grave for lepers rejected by their tribe. From above, the bottom of the sinkhole cannot easily be seen, and the legends of spirits and death give it an eerie feel.

The day starts when Uncle Johann picks us up at Colin's house, barreling down the road in his legendary Land Rover. We pile in, and chat for the next half hour over the roar of the engine and the wind whistling through the windows as the Landy chugs up the mountain. Soon we hit a dirt road, and Uncle Johann informs us that we could ride up on the roof if we want, but "I'm not going to stop the car."

We joke about this, with Colin and Johnny urging me to be brave and climb out onto the roof. This joke evaporates when Amy sighs and climbs out the window, grabbing the bars on top of the roof and pulling herself up while the Landy rattles down the road. After an awkward silence the guys follow, not to be outdone. For the next half hour we enjoy the scenery and chat while Limbi's For King and Country music drifts out of her portable speaker.

When we reach Chingwe's Hole, Uncle Johann begins securing the ropes to the gnarled trees that grow out of the sinkhole. He then shows us how to use the harness, before disappearing into the hole. A few moments later, I followed after him. The green walls of Chingwe's Hole rise above me as I rappel down, the smell of fresh mountain air replaced with the damper scents of moss and moist leaves.

My feet hit the thick, leafy carpet of the bottom of the whole, and I step out of the harness and go exploring while Uncle Johann belays the others down. Behind me, I hear Colin begin coming down the rope. He's nervous around heights, and as Uncle Johann lets him drop about five feet he shouts "I'm not a fan of that joke!" Uncle Johann chuckles, apologizes, and explains that this is the way we have to get lowered down into the hole.

Chingwe's Hole, on closer inspection, is about 15 meters long, and narrow enough in most places for me to almost touch both sides. At the opposite end I discover a cave that is about eight meters deep, with small crevices reaching further back into the rock. As the others trickle in we explore with headlamps and flashlights. I crawl down into one of the crevices, and my friend Sam follows after me. At the bottom we discover bones beneath our feet, but it's just a baboon skeleton.

Crawling back out, we goof around - as usual. Sam throws a stone at a bat and it streaks toward his head, causing him to jump back with a shriek. "Instant karma!" He proclaims a moment later, as the rest of us roar with laughter.

Soon we've explored everything there is to see - no leper bones, apparently - and it's time to climb back out. We all look to Uncle Johann, who proclaims, to our shock, that one of us will have to climb out without the help of a harness.

In the middle of the sinkhole is a bridge of stone and soil that links the two sides, giving just enough room to walk underneath it. I clamber onto this bridge, and the others follow. Knowing that the others probably aren't going to be comfortable climbing without a harness, I start climbing, searching for handholds on the mossy walls and testing each root and  knob before I put my weight on it. About halfway up the handholds peter out, and I have to rely largely on resting my weight on the indentations on the soil. At this point Uncle Johann tells me that we don't actually have to climb without the harness, technically - but going back down looks harder than going up.

At this point Colin calls up to me: "Chris, don't do this just to impress the girls! I actually don't want you to die, bro!"

"Thanks!" I shout back. "Can't believe you actually admitted that."

Snickers drift back up to me as I try to figure out what to do next. Taking a moment to survey the handholds, I build up my courage and then continue. About twenty seconds later I grip the trunk of one of the trees that grows out of Chingwe's Hole, and pull myself out. My hands are shaking, but I'm pretty pumped on adrenaline.

We head back to the starting point of the climb, and Uncle Johann tells me that in order to get Amy up, we are going to put me back in a harness and use my weight to pull her up. So once again I step onto the broad trunk of one of the trees that leans over the chasm. Letting go of the wood fully takes some self control, even though I've never been too nervous around heights.

Five minutes later I'm back at the bottom, and I climb out once again - of course I don't mind, since this experience is something that I've only dreamed of doing before now. But I am in the harness this time, and have to follow a different, more exhausting climb route. By the time I pull myself out and step out of the harness, I'm exhausted, and I joke with Limbi and Amy about how crazy awesome all of this is.

Realizing that I probably won't be able to climb out three more times (for Johnny, Sam, and Colin), he has each of them climb out on their own. While they climb I stand on one of the trees, spotting for good handholds and coaching them through the climb. Johnny and Sam are a bit nervous, like I was, but they make it and do a great job. Colin is the most freaked out, but he handles it like a pro, joking all the while about how frightened he is. When he gets to the top and steps out of the harness he runs away from Chingwe's Hole, doing a weird caper to celebrate the fact that he didn't die.

Now that everyone is out of the hole, we have lunch. Sam makes us chuckle when he pulls out not one, not two, not three, but a full six packs of cookies. He explains that his mom wants us to eat all of them, and we groan.

After lunch, things get even crazier. Uncle Johann secures his ropes to a nearby cliff, and has me go bush-whacking to the other side of the rift, so that I can spot if the rope has made it all the way to the bottom (if there is a bottom). The rope is about sixty meters long, but its end still dangles about three meters above the bottom of the gorge. I shout this information to Uncle Johann, but he shouts back that it will be fine, since the rope stretches. Sure enough, when he and Amy climb, the rope lengthens by about ten meters. Meanwhile, I video them from my position on a rock under the trees, while chatting with a friendly Malawian who helped me bush-whack to this point.

Soon Uncle Johann doesn't need me on this side of the gorge, so I head back to the rest of the teens, who are hanging out near the Land Rover. Sam entertains us with his nonsense stories, and produces a coin that he found in Chingwe's Hole. Johnny washes it off, revealing the date - 1957, Rhodesia, a country that doesn't even exist anymore. This leads to much light-hearted speculation about the possibility of hidden treasure within Chingwe's Hole.

We pack up and pile onto the Landy, choosing once more to ride on the roof. The way back seems to be much more painful on our rear ends, and Colin, Sam and to a lesser extent myself groan with every bump. Johnny suffers in silence, since he can hear Amy and Limbi snickering at us. Meanwhile, a small cut I got while climbing proves to be deeper than I suspected, and I feel very guilty as I bleed all over the white roof of the Land Rover.

The van der Hams drop us off at our houses, and we thank them for showing us such an awesome time. I hobble back into the house and get my cut cleaned up, while me and Johnny relate our adventure and discuss who should blog about it!

Only in Africa.

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